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Riverside County LDA #195

Interests, rights, power video Negotiating

Here you will find videos and essays to help you negotiate a better deal, de-escalate a conflict, and keep the peace with the other party.

Put 24 years of mediation and negotiation experience

to work.

If you don't want to spend a lot of money and you don't want your case to take years and years, you will be wise to heed the observations of Ury, Bret and Goldberg. (Getting Disputes Resolved, (1988 Jossey-Bass, Inc., New York).


They point out that there are essentially 3 ways to approach a conflict. You can try to determine individual rights given certain facts (which means focusing on morals or other rules, such as the law); you can try to over-power each other (my lawyer can beat your lawyer); or, you can work to reconcile interests.


The rights and power approaches require 3rd parties to make decisions and fight for us. Lawyers are expensive at $300+ hourly, but even if you think you can out litigate your ex without a lawyer, court costs are getting increasingly more expensive, too. In addition, getting anything done in court is painfully time-consuming.

Basic concepts in conflict management and reconciling interests

To minimize the cost and time it takes to get through a dispute, you will have to negotiate. That means, to the extent possible, accommodating both your interests and those of the other party. So, you are going to have to do something totally counter-intuitive. Instead of arguing all the reasons why you should get what you want, listen to what the other person needs and try to reconcile those needs with your own.


Follow the links below to educate yourself further on negotiation help.


Recognizing and responding to basic

 negotiation tactics


Managing power and predicting the

 outcome of power struggles



Benefit From Exceptional Negotiation Experience

Intro video